The last few weeks we have been discussing the man box. Once again the man box actually does not describe the typical man but rather a stereotypical man. The man box is also context specific so the American Man Box is actually quite different from the Brazilian, French or Turkish Man Box. Each box has different rules or different answers to the question – What does it mean to be a man? One of the rules of masculinity for American men is Robert Brannon’s 3rd rule of masculinity:

• “Be a male machine” – solve problems without help, maintain emotional self-control at all times, and never show weakness to anybody

This is a stereotype of what an American man should be. Many American men tend to break this rule when they do ask others for help, express their emotions and are vulnerable. Many men do not behave like machines. They are compassionate, caring and kind. They challenge the stereotype and break out of the man box. Many men display courage in breaking this rule. As Dr. Chris Kilmartin states “It takes a good deal of courage to negotiate one’s life without using the stereotypical road map of masculinity”.

Conversation starter: 

What are some differences you may have seen between the American Man box and other cultural versions of the man box?

The man box is the socially accepted mindset of what a man should be. Once again the man box actually does not describe the typical man but rather the “ideal man”. In this way the man box is actually a fiction. The box includes rules about a type of a man who does not actually exist. We are socialized with messages about the “ideal man” (Captain America, Marlboro Man, Tom Brady, American Sniper Chris Kyle) that then becomes internalized. Externally and internally many men are trying to live up to a fictitious standard of masculinity. In April Dr. Chris Kilmartin will be coming to campus to discuss how the man box pressures men into behaving and experiencing themselves in gendered ways.

The man box or “cultural masculinity” shapes many aspects of our daily lives as illustrated on Friday at the Women’s Mentorship Program Event – Women and the Eating Clubs. The panel discussed how messages about gender are internalized by many men and women. The conversation demonstrated how our cultural norms reflect a dynamic process between socialization and internalization. Healthy masculinity is one response to the fiction of the man box and gender norms. As Don McPherson said “Healthy masculinity is men giving ourselves and each other the permission to be whole beings… to expand and add to the [man] box”.

Conversation starter: 

What are your observations about how the man box shapes our campus culture?

The man box is the socially accepted mindset of what a man should be. The box includes many of the qualities that stereotypically describe men – strong, tough, unemotional, problem-solver etc. The man box actually does not describe the typical man but rather the “ideal man”. The box is the “perfect” encapsulation of what a man should always be. Dr. Chris Kilmartin talks about the man box as “cultural masculinity”. Kilmartin states that “cultural masculinity is a set of gender pressures placed on males”. Cultural masculinity socializes men into what is appropriate and inappropriate masculine behavior.

Interestingly cultural masculinity creates different rules of what it means to be a man. The different set of rules can depend upon a variety of factors e.g. country, historical period etc. So what it means to be an American Man is somewhat different than what it means to be a Brazilian or Cuban man. What it means to be a man in 2015 (Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy) is different than what it means to be a man in the 1950s (Mad Men’s Don Draper). Yet no matter the different factors the rules still exist.

Conversation starter: 

1. What do you think it means to be a man in 2015? What is our contemporary version of the man box?

Socially there are these unspoken rules about being a man. Dr. Christopher Kilmartin states that “cultural masculinity is a set of gender pressures placed on males”. According to Robert Brannon the “rules” of masculinity are:

• “No sissy stuff” – avoid feminine behaviors.

• “Be a big wheel” – strive for status and achievement, especially in sports and work.

• “Be a male machine” – solve problems without help, maintain emotional self-control at all times, and never show weakness to anybody.

• “Give ‘em hell” – take physical risks and be violent if necessary.

The above rules illustrate that there are socialized gender pressures faced by men. Sometimes an individual man does not feel gender pressure to follow these rules. Oftentimes the social pressures of cultural masculinity shames men into following these rules e.g. “Man up”, “Don’t be a sissy or girl”. Often the language used to remind men of the rules of masculinity are much harsher than those phrases. I believe healthy masculinity is about allowing men the freedom to break these rules without judgement.

Conversation starter: 

1. When will it be socially acceptable for men to break these rules of masculinity without being called out?

2. If you identify as man do you either feel pressure to follow these rules or the freedom to break these rules?