All posts by Shawn

Healthy Masculinity

Super Bowl Ads = Healthy Masculinity

During  Super Bowl XLIX there were a few commercials that showed nurturing, compassionate and loving images of dads. Although the goal of a commercial is to sell a product it was refreshing to see some healthier depictions of masculinity in these ads. The messages we usually receive from the media generally attempt to reinforce the “innate” differences between men and women. The ‘Like a Girl Campaign’ (which also had a commercial in the Super Bowl) is an example of media attempting to challenge our “common sense” understanding about the socialized perception of gender difference. Many young girls and women think of themselves as fast, strong and competitive. Ask any woman who is an athlete or CEO about these qualities. Many young boys and men think of themselves as kind, considerate and supportive. Ask any man who is a teacher or therapist about these qualities.

As Don McPherson says “We don’t raise boys to be men. We raise them not to be women”. Socially we generally define masculinity as the opposite of femininity. Being a man is often understood as not being a woman but if women can be warm, nurturing, compassionate and loving then can’t men have these qualities too? Many of us might laugh if someone said women can’t be strong, competitive and express leadership. We want both men and women to be able to have all of these positive qualities.

Conversation starter: 

  1. Socially when will we stop labeling certain qualities as masculine and feminine?
  2. If you identify as a man when you are behaving in a compassionate and caring manner do you consider these qualities as masculine, feminine or just positive qualities?
Gender Stereotypes, Healthy Masculinity

The American Man Box

The last few weeks we have been discussing the man box. Once again the man box actually does not describe the typical man but rather a stereotypical man. The man box is also context specific so the American Man Box is actually quite different from the Brazilian, French or Turkish Man Box. Each box has different rules or different answers to the question – What does it mean to be a man? One of the rules of masculinity for American men is Robert Brannon’s 3rd rule of masculinity:

  • “Be a male machine” – solve problems without help, maintain emotional self-control at all times, and never show weakness to anybody

This is a stereotype of what an American man should be. Many American men tend to break this rule when they do ask others for help, express their emotions and are vulnerable. Many men do not behave like machines. They are compassionate, caring and kind. They challenge the stereotype and break out of the man box. Many men display courage in breaking this rule. As Dr. Chris Kilmartin states “It takes a good deal of courage to negotiate one’s life without using the stereotypical road map of masculinity”.

Conversation starter: 

What are some differences you may have seen between the American Man box and other cultural versions of the man box?

 

Gender Stereotypes, Healthy Masculinity

The Man Box Pt. 2

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The man box is the socially accepted mindset of what a man should be. Once again the man box actually does not describe the typical man but rather the “ideal man”. In this way the man box is actually a fiction. The box includes rules about a type of a man who does not actually exist. We are socialized with messages about the “ideal man” (Captain America, Marlboro Man, Tom Brady, American Sniper Chris Kyle) that then becomes internalized. Externally and internally many men are trying to live up to a fictitious standard of masculinity. In April Dr. Chris Kilmartin will be coming to campus to discuss how the man box pressures men into behaving and experiencing themselves in gendered ways.

The man box or “cultural masculinity” shapes many aspects of our daily lives as illustrated on Friday at the Women’s Mentorship Program Event – Women and the Eating Clubs. The panel discussed how messages about gender are internalized by many men and women. The conversation demonstrated how our cultural norms reflect a dynamic process between socialization and internalization. Healthy masculinity is one response to the fiction of the man box and gender norms. As Don McPherson said “Healthy masculinity is men giving ourselves and each other the permission to be whole beings… to expand and add to the [man] box”.

Conversation starter: 

What are your observations about how the man box shapes our campus culture?

Gender Stereotypes, Healthy Masculinity

The Man Box

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The man box is the socially accepted mindset of what a man should be. The box includes many of the qualities that stereotypically describe men – strong, tough, unemotional, problem-solver etc. The man box actually does not describe the typical man but rather the “ideal man”. The box is the “perfect” encapsulation of what a man should always be. Dr. Chris Kilmartin talks about the man box as “cultural masculinity”. Kilmartin states that “cultural masculinity is a set of gender pressures placed on males”. Cultural masculinity socializes men into what is appropriate and inappropriate masculine behavior.

Interestingly cultural masculinity creates different rules of what it means to be a man. The different set of rules can depend upon a variety of factors e.g. country, historical period etc. So what it means to be an American Man is somewhat different than what it means to be a Brazilian or Cuban man. What it means to be a man in 2015 (Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy) is different than what it means to be a man in the 1950s (Mad Men’s Don Draper). Yet no matter the different factors the rules still exist.

Conversation starter: 

1. What do you think it means to be a man in 2015? What is our contemporary version of the man box?

 

Gender Stereotypes, Healthy Masculinity, Toxic Masculinity

Men should be Sturdy Oaks?

A few weeks ago Don McPherson identified himself as a former professional football player and a feminist. The actor Terry Crews also identifies as former professional football player and a feminist. McPherson and Crews illustrate that these two identities are not mutually exclusive. Both men share the belief that toughness isn’t essential to masculinity. Below Crews discusses how he learned to be a man.

“I don’t remember the first time I heard the phrase “be a man.” I don’t remember when I came to understand what it means. Come to think of it, I don’t think anyone has ever explained to me what it means. Like most of our routines, the meaning is learned through unspoken codes of behavior: “be a man” means be tough; don’t cry, don’t complain, don’t be too sensitive.”

The above quote illustrates that many men are socialized to be tough. This expectation of toughness includes many of Brannon’s rules of masculinity: “No sissy stuff”, “Be a male machine and “Give ‘em hell”. Essentially we have been socialized that a man should be “a sturdy oak”. According to Thompson and Pleck the toughness norm is the expectation that men should be mentally, emotionally and physically tough and self-reliant. Toughness is very much tied to the phrase “Man Up”. Men are usually called out for not being tough enough and not conforming to the expectation of being “a sturdy oak”.

Both McPherson and Crews played a sport where toughness is highly valued. They illustrate that men can move beyond the expectation of toughness and acknowledge vulnerability.

Conversation starter: 

1. When we will allow men to express thoughts, feelings and behaviors that are not attached to our socialized expectation of men being tough?